Food and Stuff

Flavour Thing for Meat Patty

Ingredience

• Garlic Cloves (3)
• Coriander Root (1-2)
• One Tsp Oyster Sauce [Note: Can be substituted for another sauce if you want. Oyster sauce has a distinct umami-sweet taste, so go for something with a similar profile. Or you could use fish sauce, I guess, but it'll taste salty rather than sweet]
• 1/2 Tsp Soy Sauce [Note: Or you could use salt, I guess. Or more fish sauce]
• White pepper
• Packet of mincemeat - pork or chicken are ideal, but you could probably use anything

1. Peel the garlic by crushing under the blade of a knife, and put in a pestle with coriander root and white pepper to taste.
2. Hit for 1-2 minutes until it's a fibrous paste.
3. Mix paste into a packet of mincemeat with the sauces
4. Form into patties and cook on medium-high heat until the surface against the pan is brown but not burnt.
5. If not eaten directly after cooking, refrigerate for a couple of days.

You can technically use this flavour mix to cook things a different way - it's best for mixtures which it can be incorporated all the way through, though.

Dumpling Dipping Sauce

Two parts vinegar, two parts soy sauce, one part dark soy sauce. Mix 1:1 vinegar and dark soy if you like sweet, remove dark soy if you don't like sweet, add chopped chillies if you like spicy. You can use any vinegar you like. If you're out of soy sauce you can use any other salty sauce you have in the cupboard. Like fish sauce. Worcestershire sauce, since that's just British fish sauce.

Pasta To Upset Your Italian Neighbor

1. Cook the pasta. Doesn't matter what sort. Spaghetti goes in for 9-12 minutes, smaller shapes are 6-8 minutes. Add 2-3 minutes if you don't keep the water at a constant boil.
2. Cook the filling. Doesn't matter what sort as long as it's not tomatoes. Chicken is fine. Beef is fine. Leftovers is fine. Peas is fine. Boil or fry or microwave or whatever.
3. Acquire a bottle of tomato ketchup. Add enough ketchup to coat the filling.
4. Put the pasta into whatever vessel the filling is in. Mix it all up.
5. Put cheese on it. Or don't. Any cheese is fine. Parmesan is good but if you want you can melt a cheese slice on top or whatever.
6. Show to your Italian Neighbor
7. Eat it.

It tastes nothing like pasta sauce, but it is edible.

RECIPE FOR QUESTIONABLE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

• Pork (Sliced)
• Cabbage (Sliced)
• Random cupboard herbs/spiced
• 1 tsp soy sauce

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS

1. Boil

Nutrition: Not especially carb-filling but healthy enough

Taste: Not much

Conclusion: QUESTIONABLE SOUP

How long to boil vegetables for

• Broccoli - If cut into small pieces, until the colour has gone from desaturated green to saturated green. If cut into larger bits (e.g. none of the smaller stem bits have been cut through), add 10-20 seconds.
• Green beans - once you have succeeded in getting them under the water in a small pot, you can take them out.
• Cauliflower - Pretend they're broccoli, then add 20 seconds.
• Frozen peas - Wait for the water to start bubbling again. Doesn't necessarily have to be a full boil.
• Broccolini - As with large broccoli bits.
• Carrot - put in the water BEFORE you turn the heat on, and wait for it to boil.
• Asparagus - Pretend they're small broccoli.
• Bok/Pak Choy - Small broccoli.
• Kai/Gai Lan - Small broccoli if you're fine with bitter tastes, large broccoli if you want to take the edge off.
• Choy Sum - Small broccoli.
• Peas in pods - Much like green beans.
• Cabbage, or cabbagey vegetables - Much like green beans.
• Zucchini/Courgette - Like broccoli, depending on how thickly you slice it. The pieces will stick together, so make sure to break them up in the water, or before you put them in.
• Celery - Don't.

Once you are done with the vegetables, take the following:

1. An oil. Preferably a tasty one.
2. A sweet or umami sauce. Oyster sauce is good. Fish sauce is good for vegetables that will hold it, like broccoli or cauliflower. Soy sauce is okay but kind of just salty sometimes. Etc.
3. Garlic of some kind. Powder, fried bits, or chopped bits. Fried onion also works (NOT caramelised or lightly pan-seared "caramelised" onion! That is different).
4. If you want you can put some pepper or chilli or mustard or whatever but it's not required or anything.

Mix it up. Put it on your vegetable. Yay

Things to put in cooking rice

Ginger: for Hainanese chicken rice

Sweet Potato Slices: Will cook at the same time

Fun things to put in hot chocolate or chocolate milk

1. Cinnamon. Classic. You can put it in chocolate milk too.
2. Mixed baking spice. Tastes gingerbready, but with no ginger and no molasses and more chocolate.
3. Mixed Asian spice. Tastes. Well it sure tastes like Asian spice. I feel like this is something I eat which people may find questionable
4. DO NOT PUT GARLIC POWDER IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE. Thank you.

Spice Mix I Put in Mince

Recipe is for a WHOLE PACK OF MINCE. Today I halved the amounts to cook for half

• 2 tsp ground coriander
• 2 tsp garlic powder / 2 cloves, chopped
• 1 tsp ginger / 1 small slice, chopped
• 1 tbsp oyster sauce
• Sriracha to taste. I put in the same amount as the oyster sauce

Overview of Arnott's Biscuits

• Shortbread Cream - Tastes like any old boring custard cream, but without the custard bit. The biscuit's always soggier than the plain shortbreads you can get, so it really comes down to whether you want a biscuit sweeter or butterier.
• Delta Cream - Offbrand Oreo. Better than a Shortbread Cream, because it's a chocolate biscuit that doesn't have to live up to shortbread. Also doesn't have the weird burnt-grease aftertaste of an Oreo, so that's a plus.
• Kingston - Goes chewy if exposed to air for too long but tastes like an Anzac biscuit sealed together with chocolate, because that's basically what it is. If you like splitting creams in half, though, the texture and size makes it difficult.
• Monte Carlo - Weird. Two coconut biscuits with cream in the middle, but the cream is totally wrapped in solid jam, somehow? And it's not regular jam, either, it's like a skin. Tastes very good, though. And it's a big one.
• Tiny Teddies - When I was in the later years of primary school I either threw or dropped one of these on the pavement while we were eating lunch and a guy from the next group immediately enacted the five second rule.
• Milk Arrowroot - Shortbread Cream levels of basic for plain biscuits.
• Shredded Wheatmeal - 3/10. Unless you inhale bits of it in which case 0/10, bad, get me a glass of water please.
• Choc Ripple - I'd review these but last time we had them, my damnable sibling ate them all. Assume they're good, then.
• Cheds - Eh. There's better cheese biscuits, but these one's don't taste artificially cheesy, if you know what I mean.
• Custard Cream - Average.
• Lattice - These were really good because they were flaky and had a glaze on top. Unfortunately they discontinued them at some point between me leaving primary school and now.
• Gingernut - Very tasty ginger biscuit. Can be used to remove teeth.
• Iced VoVo - Whether or not you like these is determined by three factors - whether you dislike coconut, whether you dislike sugar icing, and whther you are a person who really hates pink.
• Malt-o-Milk - Quite nice for a plain biscuit - that'll be the malt, then. Good for milk dipping.
• Jatz - Tastes identical to any other round biscuit with holes and that bumpy outside thing.
• Milk Coffee - Like a milk arrowroot but shaped different. I'm told they put some sort of syrup in it, but I can't taste it.
• SAO - Good dry biscuit with salt on it. Unfortunately, has the design flaw of not being ideal for fitting whole into the mouth.
• Sesame Wheats - Worse SAO. Especially if you're allergic to sesame.
• Tic Tocs - You know that solid icing glaze they put on biscuits that's the consistency of paint and tastes like chalk? Yeah.
• Tim Tams - If I speak ill of these I will be immediately executed by elite Australian operatives tasked with upholding the national identity. Did you know if you bite around the edges you can deconstruct these pretty cleanly? Well now you do.
• Vegemite Shapes - Shaped like Australia, or really big Tasmanias, because they forgot Tasmania (again) when they first did the run. Edible. Doesn't taste much like Vegemite, to be honest.
• Pizza Shapes - Geometric seasoned shapes. Okay. Tastes like most pizza-flavoured products.
• Orange Slice - Everyone outside of my family hates these, because they're all wrong. Not exactly orangey, but certainly vaguely tangy. The scorings on the biscuits never line up, though, and the biscuits themselves are rather plain.
• Barbeque Shapes - Geometric seasoned shapes. Good. Slightly better than the pizza ones.
• Barbeque Shapes (New Recipe) - Ideal for feeding to people you don't like.
• Scotch Fingers - Shortbread. The halves never break cleanly, but they taste good.
• Nice - Nice. The granulated sugar coating on the biscuit isn't as sweet as you'd expect.
• Lemon Crisp - Imagine if a custard cream, a lemon, and a salted biscuit had a bastard child. It's a tasty bastard child, though.
• Cruskits - You can adhere these to your tongue due to their dry, sticky, porousness. Otherwise useless for human consumption.